How To Strengthen Your Self Image…..

Body, Mind and Spirit



How can you strengthen your self image on a daily basis?  The use of ongoing training and conditioning is very important to athletes as well as other individuals utilizing muscle using activities.

This same training and conditioning can be used in the conditioning of the self image – which we can consider as the “mental muscle”.  Your self image really defines your possibilities.

Dan Kennedy has said that you cannot out perform your self image.  Your self image is always in motion and by adjusting the parameters in which it performs,  you can make a real positive input into your outlook on life.

The input can be either positive strengthening in nature or it can be negative as to restrict your self image.  Dan Kennedy and his colleagues in the Psycho-Cybernetics Foundation put together a 10 point daily regiment using Dr. Maxwell Maltz’s thoughts and ideas from his experience in working with many different individual patients.

The regiment is used to strengthen your self image.  Is is not long or difficult but if used on a regular basis it can make a profound difference in your overall positive self image.  Regiment seems way too military in nature but it is far from this, as it is a pattern that can literally change your life!

Movies in your mind




1) The Use of Mental Movies  Go into the theater in your mind and watch appropriate movies.  Stimulate your powerful imagination.  Make sure your images are positive in nature so that you can find an amazing array of helpful stimulations.   Get into the habit of doing this everyday and try to set up a time to do it at the same time each day if at all possible.

2) Mental Rehearsal    A deliberate rehearsal of a skill that is important to you and that is in congruence with your sense of direction.

3) Review your Goals    Refocus on your vision for the future.  Don’t let distractions interfere with this process as it can reduce your effectiveness considerably.

4) Use Positive Self Talk   Use key words and psychological triggers to reinforce these self images.  Find ways to eliminate the negative self talk that can side track your positive images.

5) Make Goal Directed Actions   Your self image can tell the difference between productivity and activity.  (Boy – how many times have I been there with just activity and not productivity!). The more energy and effort that is linked to your goals, the more productive you will be. (logical isn’t it).  Ask yourself the question: “How is this activity allowing me to get closer to my goals?”

6) Make Corrective Actions as You Go Along  We all make mistakes and that is just being human, so it is not going to change. It is best to take corrective action as quickly as possible so you can stay on track and move on.  If you spend too much time trying not to make a mistake, then this process is truly going to hamper your progress.  If you are trying to learn everything there is to know about a certain subject before you act – this can also have a very negative effect upon the whole process, as the tendency is to not move on at all.

7) Assertive Communication   People who avoid confronting a situation and put it off will usually weaken their self image.  It is best to deal with the situation or a problem as you go along rather than continue to put it off “until later”.  Stand up for your position that you have taken and if you feel it is properly taken and have the necessary facts to back up your position – then go for it.

8) Relaxation  There is a real connection between peak performance and relaxation.  There are techniques that Dr. Maltz has developed to help you relax and still be very productive. He makes it a point that it is a technique that is clearly defined rather than a buffet that you can pick and choose.  To be able to perform in a relaxed state in stressful situations is the key to learning different relaxation techniques.  Dr. Maltz defines these techniques in his book: Psycho-Cybernetics and goes into excellent  detail as to how to perfect these techniques.

9) Recognition   Give yourself some good reinforcement for the many good things that you have done during the day. Unfortunately, we have a tendency to look and concentrate on the negative things that occurred during the day and place way too much emphasis on them.  Show off the victories rather than the battle scars.  Give your self image the boost rather than the scars.  Focus on the accomplishments, the progress and even the humor in the day rather than the negatives.

Look at things in a positive way each day and write them down so you can actually see them.

a) give gratitude to at least three things that happened during the day.                                                                                                            b) notice at least three people who did something nice for you today and send them a short thank you note.                                          c) list 3 productive things you did today and write them down in a success journal.


10) Organize Your Next Day Ahead of Time  Organize tomorrow’s activities tonight.  The self image always seems to be strengthened by a good sense of direction.

These activities can be accomplished more easily as each day progresses.  Don’t look at it as a regiment that is difficult but rather as one that can and will make you and your self image a more effective and relaxed individual in the long run.

If you do these for about 21 days, then they become almost automatic habits.  You can look at this as overwhelming and that you don’t have time or you can look at this as a very positive affirmation of your time to make your days that much more effective.  If a lumberjack takes time to sharpen his ax, he will be much more effective during his day.

“No BS Time Management” is an excellent book by Dan Kennedy that helps you to better understand the process of time management

“Believe in Yourself – The Shortest Route to Success!”

If you have gotten anything out of this post, please let me know by adding your comments below.  Many times one realizes that by researching these articles, we get as much, if not more out of the meat of the subject then we thought possible.  Keep reading and keep researching and before long, you will find that light at the end of the tunnel.  Enjoy the day!!!


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Guilt – An Obstacle To Overcome….





Everyone has some skeletons in their closets of some nature.  But when it continues to dominate your thoughts, it will continue to punish you in many ways.

Lucinda Bassett, in her excellent book, “From Panic to Power” suggests that we are programmed to use guilt as justification for suffering and unhappiness. When you feel guilty, you might look at every problem that presents itself as the proper punishment rather than an appropriate challenge that you can take on and rise above it.

Some people view their mistakes as “it’s going to happen” and just assume this and seem to accumulate them and wear them as their Scarlet Letter.




A quiet down ridden person might feel guilty when they actually feel good as they don’t  feel that they deserve it.

Forgiving yourself for past deeds is extremely powerful and can lead to an amazing feeling of peace of mind.  When you have made peace with your past, it allows many feelings and emotions to be released and the peace that it accompanies is very relieving.

Until you have made peace with your past, you cannot out perform the self constraints you have placed on yourself.

When you have liberated yourself from your past mistakes, your true personality, talents and abilities will show through. You will amaze yourself as to what you can accomplish by not having to push through the guilt.

When you make peace with yourself, you will be amazed as to how much you can accomplish in such a relatively short period of time.

We all have these restraints that we have lived with – now is the time to liberate yourself from the burdens of the past and become that person you truly want to be.

Believe in Yourself – The Shortest Route to Success!!!

If you got anything out of this post, please let me know where you stand.  These are the types of messages that we can either take seriously or push them off, but it is up to you to become that person you truly want to be.  Life is too damn short to not take advantage of what you can do and where you can go – but it is truly up to you!

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Emotional Scars That Need Evaluation…..





Liberating your talents and your abilities is a true necessity in gaining your own self confidence and your self image. Positive change is not always easy as we have a tendency to revert into our old comfortable ways.

Many of us have a tendency to be down on ourselves for not changing some of these old habits into better and more productive ways.  Usually this is a cop out from the inner self that we need some help.

Even people who have become very successful, might have weakened self images even though they appear otherwise.

Whatever habit or habits you decide to replace with more productive behavior – the use of Psycho-Cybernetics approaches have proven to many to be easy and very successful.  This doesn’t mean that it can and will always be easy.  It might mean that the mind needs some work on the self image that in turn can use the techniques of Dr. Maltz’s Psycho-Cybernetics.

Dr. Maltz, as a plastic surgeon realized that he could repair the outer scars of his patients but many times their self image interfered with the results.

Many emotional scars can be traced back to one’s childhood or even in the working environment that people were in. These are the areas that Dr. Maltz began to realize were as important or more important than the physical scars.

Dr. Maltz felt that there were five emotional barriers to overcome and each one can be placed in one of these categories or emotional barriers.

Here is a prescription to allow yourself to master the problems associated with these:

1) Hypersensitivity  -  can lead to an area of “political correctness”,  leading to tensions, people begin to shelter away from expressing themselves at all – not wanting to hurt someones’s feelings. A casual comment can land you in court quicker than you realize.

A society that loses its tolerance, it flexibility and even its sense of humor becomes very intolerant. If you are easily offended then you will probably have no problem being offended but your happiness and production in your work will probably suffer.

A strengthened self image becomes a shield against either imagined or real attacks.  As you begin to strengthened your self image, things that seemed to bother you in the past, are just brushed off and occur much less because greater self respect will gain much more respect from others.

Ask yourself a simple question, when you might have too much time to think – is this bigger then me or am I bigger than this?

2) Chronic Dependency  – is a cause of unhappiness and frustration.  People who have a compulsion to be liked or recognized  are usually constantly  frustrated. Sometime people become martyrs as a way of attention getting.They might just make themselves ill by all the fuss of getting attention.  They might involve themselves in destructive behavior just to garner attention.

These kinds of people are more prone to emotional hurts. As children we are always looking for that approval from the teachers, the parents and fellow playmates.  We are looking for that gold star but as we mature, that gold star should start coming from within, that we take responsibility for our own success. Resentment or Angry




3) Resentment  – called by some as the politics of envy. Resentment, maybe just one of the most counter-productive activities in existence. Resentment is a no ending application to unhappiness.  It cannot create anything totally productive but rather keeps you in a mood of darkness.

When we blame someone for our problems, we rarely take it out physically on someone but it can have a lingering affect of a grudge and more than likely, the person you are angry with doesn’t even know it occurred in the first place.

Forgiveness is like taking a heavy load off your shoulders and realizing how much better you feel.  This is one of the main teachings of Jesus- forgiveness!

Carrying a grudge is very heavy lifting.  Learning to give up the grudge without any strings attached can be magic – the burden is lifted. No one,  absolutely no one is treated fairly throughout their lifetime, but it is how you react to to that can have lasting affects on you.

You get no revenge by having a grudge against someone but the harm will come in the form of resentment and affects you. The act of forgiveness might just be looked at as the ultimate act of selfishness as it only truly affects you – but without it, you empower the other person to continue their assault on you mentally.

How many more precious hours do you want to give up to anger, bitterness and resentment?

4) Guilt  – Lucinda Bassett, the author of “From Panic to Power” explains that we are programmed to use guilt as justification for suffering and unhappiness.

For example if you were wronged by someone inadvertently, you could say that the next problem that arose was due you because of that past wrong.  Instead of taking it as a challenge,  do something positive instead. Guilt or lack of peace of mind will exist until you have made peace with your past.

The self liberation will begin to show through and your self image will most certainly improve. Dr. Maltz suggests seeing yourself with kind eyes as human beings are far from perfect.  You are going to make mistakes, but you can rise above your mistakes and use them as a positive, inspired  experience for improvement.

Have compassion and understanding of yourself – acknowledge the mistake and move on. Dr. Maltz also suggests 5 practical steps for self forgiveness:

1- acknowledge yours feelings of guilt, face up to them and don’t deny them.  Have a straight forward dialogue  with yourself.

2- clean the slate and put the situation behind you.  Commit to a time period to put them behind you, and make it a specific time.

3- take action to correct the situation.  apologize, make amends and correct it if possible.

4- give yourself an ability to put the situation into a good perspective.  Treat yourself kindly and as a good person. 5- Strengthen your goals and focus on getting them done.  Rid yourself of the past, put away these files and move on.

5) Fear - Fear comes in many different forms, real or unreal. People fear what others think of them.  We cannot control what others think of us but rather can only control our own behavior.

Having confidence in our own ability to bounce back from anything is very helpful in the health of the self image. Your self image can allow you to look at the mistakes by acknowledging them, extract whatever useful information you can and adjust it to get you back on course towards your goals. It will not be a straight line but it is going in the right direction.


Believe In Yourself – The Shortest Route To Success!

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Continuing To Program Your Success……..



This is a continuation of what we started in the last blog that contains more information on how to program success into your daily routine as well as into your overall life activities.

Obviously success comes to different individuals in different ways but in reality much of it can be classified into certain areas that allow you the ability to pursue your own successes in somewhat the same areas of accomplishments.  But you might go about it differently but with the end results being somewhat the same.

1) Transforming your weaknesses that need to be fixed into strengths that just need to be improved  – by looking at it this way, we avoid negative language as well as negative images.

Instead of being self critical, look at things with a goal orientated improvement.  This is the type of positive re-enforcement that the Disney Corporation uses.  Instead of what the negative people look at, it will be a positive goal improvement.   Creatively making things better is many times what the Disney Corporation uses in a positive manner.

2) Use visual triggers  –  You can remind your subconscious of all kinds of visual triggers.  Dan Kennedy has pictures of eagles around because they remind him of basic peak performance ideas.  He feels their vision and how decisive they are when making a decision.  It has been equated that the eagles vision is about 10 times greater than the human eyes and there is no indecision when he is looking for prey.

Dan Kennedy also reminds us of a trick that he uses on himself. To remind himself of how valuable time really is, he has some fake dynamite  sticks tied to a clock in full vision sitting on his desk.

Dr. Maltz suggests using a grease pencil on the bathroom mirror that is in full vision when you are getting ready in the morning.  Even have a picture reminder on the mirror of your favorite role model and it is a constant reminder of what he or she has done for you and your successful ideas.

3) Put together a success environment to support your positive ideas and thoughts  – this can include visual aids, mental imagery and ones that you can view many times during the day.

The use of audio CDs and Mp3s that can reinforce your imagery can be most useful.  Listening to audios on a regular basis can give you that emotional lift that might be necessary.  Listening to these same audios while in your car, even going on short trips can be very helpful  - it is the habit that you can create that will help in listening to these audios.

Rubbing shoulders with successful people can be very helpful and they don’t necessarily have to be in the same business interest that you are in but can have that positive influence on you.

Removing yourself from a negative environment in your office setting can have a very positive influence in your attitude.  For example if someone in the cubicle next to you is always giving a negative  report about everything that is within their reach, just ask to be moved to another area.  You don’t have to listen to a continuous array of negative language.

4) Manage anger by training yourself - Bob Rotella, a sports psychologist, especially in the area of golf, suggests not letting anger upset your daily routine.  (obviously easier said than done) It is something that will take time to work on and formulate a way to eliminating the negative influence.  It can ruin so many things in your approach to success.

Self image re-engineering can help you speed up the process of not letting anger involve itself in your daily routine.  It can literally reduce the times and the intensity of any anger that seems to undermine your progress to success.

Dan Kennedy suggests that the term “Blind Rage” is a good one because unchecked anger blinds you to solutions and opportunities.  He also suggests ways to help in curbing your anger, such as:

a. accept negative results – we are far from perfect.  We can’t alter the past but we can control the presence.

b. stay calm – as the calm individual can visualize things that an angry person has problems seeing.  There can be some activities that can lessen the impact of anger, such as sitting down and writing down the things that are making you angry and then when done, throw away the paper on which it is written.  It is like writing a letter to the person you are very angry with, write it and then discard it as you have gotten out what you needed to get out.

c. quickly focus on the next thing at hand and not what has been bogging you down.  A good example used might be in golf. Concentrate on the good shots and let the others go by the wayside.  Use the image of the good shots to help visualize the good ones and it can be very helpful when you are confronted by the same situation in the future.

5) React in a positive manner to negative feedback to respond to disappointment with a positive reaction can allow you the impetus to construct something positive.  This is how many peak performers react to negative feedback.  Their consistent response to disappointment, frustration and possibly their own mistakes is to react in the most constructual way possible.

They learn from their experiences and they then move onto bigger and better things.

A realistic expectation as to getting from disappointment to a positive, constructive position will not be a straight line but rather a zig-zag line.  This is what peak performers realize and will understand this and make corrections along the way.

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Dr. Maxwell Maltz has shown us an amazing dissection of what problems are and an ability of recognizing these and then give you ideas, thoughts and exercises as to how to remedy these situations.  He was a plastic surgeon that realized that many of his patients looking for physical solutions to their “problems” needed a solution from the inside out rather than the other way around.

His books are full of excellent ideas and ways to solve problems that will help improve the psyche and the understanding of what makes us tick and why.

Believe in Yourself – The Shortest Route to Success!








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Programming For Success……

9920472-art-work-of-business-hand-with-the-wordGoals There are a number of ideas and thoughts that might be considered in shaping your idea of success.  Perhaps you have a vision already of what you might consider success and all that goes along with it.    You might also take a bit of time and examine some of the ideas that we are putting forth for you to look at and decide whether or not they might be helpful to you.

1) A sense of direction – it is vital that you establish a sense of direction on knowing exactly where you want to go and where you are presently going.

It cannot be a vague cloudy objective but rather a specific, laser targeted goal.

As the objective becomes more clear, the course of direction becomes much tighter and success becomes more quickly attained.  The key to dramatically accelerating your personal achievement is to provide yourself a clear, persistent detailed sense of direction.

2) Mental Imagery  – is having the ability to communicate with your subconscious mind with the use of pictures not words.  This deals with having a theater in your mind and rehearsing with a mental picture.

Jack Nicklaus, one of pro golf’s greatest players, would always picture where he was going to hit his next shot – he mentally pictured himself hitting the ball exactly where it was supposed to go.  You could tell by the number of titles he won, that his process was successful.

Dr. Martz points out in his book, Psycho-Cybernetics that the prime reason for using these techniques is the reprogramming, the re-engineering and the strengthening of the self image.

3) Combining Affirmations and Mental Imagery there is considerable support for the use of affirmation throughout the sporting world as well as in behavioral psychology and in self development.

Dr. Shane Murphy, who used to be the chief psychologist for the US Olympic Team, in his book, The Achievement Zone, shows that he is a big supporter of positive self talk and has suggested that this is even effective in the treatment of depression.

Many sports psychologists suggest that the use of cue words, which abbreviates the thoughts you might use for affirmations, can be used in place of a whole series of re-programing words and can be just as effective.

It is suggested the the use of abbreviated cards (3×5 cards) that you can carry on yourself or display in prominent places such as the mirror in the bathroom or your desk.  This then can trigger your use of this technique.

Some psychologists suggest the use of subliminal programming even though they carried some skepticism.  Some do feel that it has some very good benefits if it is combined with mental imagery.

4) Avoiding Negative Language Dealing with Willpower – Dr. Murphy says that just the thought of failure makes people anxious and afraid.  When you attempt to tell yourself that to do something – you seem to remind yourself of failure.  The won’t and don’t programing always seems doomed to failure.

Dr. Maltz in his Pyscho-Cybernetics Book, feels that you need to become committed to replace will power with creative imagination and in turn, a relaxed performance.

5) Cancel Out Negative Programing- cancel out negative programing when ever it sticks it ugly head up.  The whole process of re-engineering the self image is not hard to understand but it will not occur easily or right away.

Old programing will take time to re-engineer and will have some resistance.  When this does occur, just note that it will take some time.  You can use your cue words to stop the process.

It doesn’t matter what word you use as long as it is used consistently and when necessary.

You can interrupt your negative program if you just realize what you are doing and begin using the word or phrase that you have decided to use.  It is best to say it out loud so you can hear it as it tends to be more effective.

You want as many reinforcements as you can get to help in your releasing the negative programing.  For example, if you feel you need to be more assertive in certain situations, you can use the theater in your mind to review the necessary actions you need to utilize the mental imagery to show the assertiveness you deem necessary.  You can also use your word or phrase that will help when you have found yourself beginning to bring back the old negative programing.

These are some ideas that will help you in your program for success.  I will continue some more ideas in a future post that can help you in your quest for a more rewarding program of success.

It is how you approach this process that can make a difference.  You can pooh-pooh it and continue on your own course or you can put yourself into a mindset of trying these ideas and be amazed at how they can truly help you – it all depends on you and your ability to let go of your past images of failure or success……

It is up to YOU!

Believe in Yourself – The Shortest Route to Success!

If you got anything out of this post, please let me know.  If you disagree with some or all of the post, let me know also, so I can learn what your ideas and feelings are all about.


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Failure – Is This Part Of Your Makeup?





Is FAILURE part of your makeup and do you recognize early signs of your automatic failure mechanism?

Success and failure are two sides of the same coin and  both are recognized in the programing of the self imagine.  No one is totally void of failure but it is how you respond to it that can effect your ultimate success.

Here are 7 signs of a weakened self image that Dr. Maxwell Maltz discusses in his book Pyscho-cybernetics.  Dr. Maltz is a plastic surgeon who realized that many people needed healing on the inside rather than just the outside.  He opened up a whole new area of mindset and how you can find your own self in a maze of uncertainty.

1) Frustration -it isn’t always bad, in fact it can be the stimulator for change and setting of new goals.  If frustration lingers for a long time, it can be unhealthy.

Many of the extreme groups that you have read or heard about usually want to take their frustrations out on others rather than the cause from within.  When they get frustrated with their own lives, jobs, bosses, or co-workers, they want to take their frustration out on others rather than making a change from within.

2) Aggressiveness – misdirected aggressions usually follow frustrations.  A good example are some of the riots that occur in the larger cities that were mainly caused by pent up frustrations of the involved individuals.  It can be the father who brings his frustrations home from the office and takes it out on his family in different forms.  Road rage might be another good example of miss-placed aggression following frustration.

If you catch yourself feeling aggressive, then just recognize it for what it is – frustration rising out of control.

Throwing your weight around (figuratively) is far less effective than trying to see the situation and working it out with tack and skill.

3) Insecurity - having a low self image has a tendency for the individual to look everywhere else for their problems rather than utilizing the mirror.  They want someone else to take care of them, the boss, the government and etc. and have a tendency to blame the same people for their own problems.  The only real security lies within ourselves.  Your own security many times  is based on your knowledge, skill, responsibilities, initiative and your own confidence when you look outside of yourself.

Career, financial or emotional security, and if you give up your own control of these things, then no one can accomplish these things as well as you yourself.  One of the important aspects is the relationship between responsibility and control.                                Control is usually defined by how much responsibility you are willing to accept.

Insecurity can show itself when there is self doubt and a fear of the future.  “What if” becomes a big factor in your own feeling of self confidence.  If you are plagued by the “what if” syndrome and continue to play in this imaginary cage, then your ability to move forward is limited.

4) Loneliness – You can be surrounded by many other people but you still feel lonely.  Loneliness is an emotional and mental isolation that can come out of fear and insecurity.

Many recovering drug addicts and alcoholics will tell you that they had always felt lonely even in places where there were many friends and even a crowd.

5) Isolation  – if you find yourself isolating and being by yourself,  you need to examine your self image.  Life is all about interaction with others and not hiding from them.  Look at your reasons for isolating and make a concerted effort to involve yourself with others.  Read and take part in exercises that will strengthen your self image and your ability to interact with others.  You don’t have  to come out of your cocoon all at once, but realize you will soon fly with the other butterflies.

6) Resentments – the most powerful tool our failure mechanisms possess.  It is an experience of a negative emotion felt as a result of a real or imaginary wrong done.  One of the best interpretations that I have seen is one from Robert C. Solomon, a professor of philosophy at the University of Texas at Austin, he places resentment on the same line-continuum with contempt and anger.  According to him, the differences between the three emotions are as follows: resentment is directed towards higher-status individuals, anger is directed towards equal-status individuals and contempt is directed towards lower-status individuals.

People resent the power of people that they do not have, they look at the world feeling that all they have is a bitter pill to swallow.

Lee Neltier, a fellow within the Psycho-cybernetics group, feels there are no victims, only volunteers.

Resentment literally means a re-feeling and re-visiting old mind pictures.

If you do have resentments, you need, (for your own sake) to practice forgiveness.  You don’t have to forget the past but just don’t dwell on the past.

Forgiveness liberates your self image as well as improves your physical health.  This also applies to you as an individual, forgive your past mistakes and liberate yourself.

When you are focused on others getting the breaks or the things you don’t have, you only add to your own problems with your self image.  Dr. Maltz suggests that you rise above these negative emotions to create your own unique success!

Resentments are not caused by other persons or events but by your own emotional response to the circumstances.

7) Emptiness – In other words, is that all there is?  Being bored and unfulfilled and trying to replace this emotional void with a physical solution is not going to work.  You need to go back and figure out both mentally and emotionally what is missing.  If you feel an emptiness, you can perform your own emotional surgery.  You just have to recognize it and then do something about it.

If you were a high powered executive and thought by retiring and playing golf and fishing with nothing else going on, you might have a very hard time adjusting to retirement.  You might have to examine what your likes, dislikes and abilities are and work with them.  Volunteer with groups to help them put ideas together that help them succeed.  This makes more sense than retiring with absolutely no idea of what the future is going to hold except fishing and golf.

Believe in Yourself – The Shortest Route to Succeed!

If you have anything to add to these ideas, please let me know and let the others know.  This is a big subject that sometimes little attention is paid to it.   It is well worth the read: Psycho-cybernetics, as it contains an amazing group of ideas and thoughts that we all can profit from in so many ways.


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Let’s Talk About Happiness……….

Happiness # 2




We all talk about happiness in so many different contexts, but what do we really mean and how can we actually work on making our daily routines filled with more happiness?

How do you help yourself to possibly improve the happiness in your own life.   We have to have a purpose, having the intention, resolution and pure determination to be striving towards meaningful goals.

Even in our Declaration Of Independence of the United States this is stated: “We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness…….”  

 Live each day as though it was your last, enjoy it to its fullest.  Set daily goals for yourself and don’t worry about those who want to add misery to your thoughts, because they are your goals and if they have real meaning for you that is what really counts.




Happiness is truly a state of mind.  It is one in which you can decide whether or not you want to be happy or not.  If you want to be happy, you can find that happiness wherever you go.  It is your attitude towards yourself that really determines if you want to be happy or unhappy.

Dr. Maxwell Maltz, a plastic surgeon and the author of Psycho-Cybernetics found that many of his patients were looking for solutions for their unhappiness and were looking on the outside. Dr. Maltz found that many of his patients needed more healing on the inside rather than the outside and consequently this was the impetus for his studying and eventually writing of his books.

Dr. Maltz had a series of strategies for happiness and he named seven, but in reality, there can be as many or as few as you feel might be helpful in your own pursuit of happiness.

Tell yourself you have the right to be happy and don’t let others attempt to put you into a state of worry with their problems.  Set apart a certain period of time during the day for relaxation and “my time” that give you peace of mind.

One of the biggest aspects of happiness is to accept yourself as who you are, with your strengths and weaknesses.  Just be yourself and don’t try to be someone else.  You are unique and have a lot to offer.

Dr. Joseph Murphy, in his book: “The Power of Your Subconscious Mind” points out that there is only one important point about being happy.  You must sincerely desire to be happy!

The habit of contentment is very important.  Make your habits to include an attitude of contentment.  Dr. Maltz suggests that: “Your mind is such a potent tool.  Remolding your truths, harnessing your imagination, driving yourself into the channels of success, you can use your mind to make you relaxed and happy. You can make contentment the essence of your life?”

Get into the habit of laughing and as we get older, we sometimes forget just how therapeutic it can be.  Laughter can allow the mind and body to forget any troubles and just enjoy the present.

Sometimes we need to take a good hard look at ourselves and realize the importance of “accentuate the positive and eliminate the negative” as the old song goes.  This can be a refreshing period of realizing that you have many good points that you can accentuate.  Be realistic with yourself but not harsh and you will see what you have to offer.

Zig Ziglar suggested:“If you can dream it, you can achieve it.  You will get all you want in life if you help enough other people get what they want.”  Napoleon Hill and Clement Stone in their book Success Through a Positive Mental Attitude suggested that: “One of the surest ways to find happiness for yourself is to devote your energies toward making someone else happy.  Happiness is an elusive, transitory thing.  And if you set out to search for it, you will find it evasive. But if you try to bring happiness to someone else, then it comes to you.”

There is no question that happiness is contagious but some look at the same type of idea as misery loves company and this can be contagious also.  It is up to you as to which one you choose.

Think of all the activities that can bring you happiness and they come in all kinds of forms.  Some use golf, tennis, swimming, painting or any kind of activity that they enjoy to free their mind of possible pressing matters.

Strengthen you self image by giving yourself some appreciation. Give yourself credit for what you are and who you are.  We all have attributes that are positive, so work on this aspect of your daily thinking.  Life is too short not to enjoy it to its fullest.  Babies grow up, kids grow up and soon they will be the adults of the future.  Give them the positive feedback that they deserve and let them carry this with them into adulthood.  This is one of the best carry it forward messages that you can provide and it will pay big dividends – I can  guarantee that!

Believe in Yourself – The Shortest Route to Success!

If you got anything out of this post, let me know and we can enjoy the laughter together whenever we meet face to face.




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Are You Happy – I Mean Really Happy?…….

Happiness # 2




How many people who you meet, whether on a regular basis or at times just casually that are always seemingly happy or up beat every time you come in contact with them?

These are the kinds of people that are fun to socialize with and be around as they seem to give you a injection of happiness and just plain fun.

Some resent surveys show that about 80% of people with jobs are unhappy and over 60% of the people surveyed are unhappy with their own personal lives.  Why is happiness seemingly so out of range?

The predominate reason for unhappiness seems to be that people are either living in the past or living in the future.  The hurt or the frustration from things that happened in the past.  Nostalgia from an idealistic past experience made to feel badly about the present reality of life today.

People are also blocked from happiness by living in the future – their thoughts are dominated by what they do not have and what they feel they could have if only…….

Dr. Maxwell Maltz in his book Psycho-Cybernetics, suggested that we use the messages from his book to live in the present and enjoy what you have in the present.

He (Dr. Maltz) defines happiness as: “a state of mind in which our thinking is pleasant a good share of the time.”

Some people look at happiness as a trivial, unusual state that only a few can maintain for any length of time.  The old adage of no pain, no gain seems to fit the vocabulary of many people who just feel that happiness is a flight that comes and goes easily.  They feel that success should be a serious business and one that is found with only dogged determination but they ignore the profound relationship between happiness and peak performance.

Henry Dreher in his book “The Immune Power Personality”, suggested that your personality is the way you reveal your self image and directly effects your immune system.  He also shows there is a clear link between your happiness and your health.

Your happiness seems to be much more present when you are not totally dependent on your work for your self esteem.  Some of the recent research shows that longevity can be related to happiness and is the closest thing to the elusive fountain of youth.

People who continue to have purpose and control of their lives, seem to live longer and have healthier lives.

It is difficult to force yourself into peak performances if you are unhappy with your present situation.  We really live in one dimension – the present – so make your time worthwhile!


“Believe in Yourself – The Shortest Route to Success!


If you got anything out of this post, please let me know your thoughts.  Even if you disagree with parts or all, don’t hesitate to let me know your thoughts.

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You Must Be To Do………..





Goal setting is important but without goal getting then the latter really isn’t that important.

There are 3 factors that you need have a serious look at to be in contention for attaining your goals.

Dr Maxwell Martz, the author of Psycho-Cybernetics and a physician,  has identified three different factors that need to be examined so you can be on the accomplishment side rather than the frustrated side of your goals.

1) Insincerity   Most New Year’s Resolutions are on the half hearted side of the process and are more like wishes then they are actual goals.  It is like the goals that your “boss” might set for you and your co-workers as to certain sales done for a certain period of time.  I have a daughter that really did not want to go to college but because I asked her to at least try a year at school and see how she handled it.  I do not think her heart was into the process and so after a year,  she went after her true love and that was being a hair stylist.  Her heart wasn’t into academics.  She now lives in the outskirts of Las Vegas and loves what she is doing and where she lives.  The only time she goes downtown to the strip, is when we come in to go to a show.

Zig Zigar had a goal saying that suggested some are goals set by the family or society and these types of goals are rarely successful because they are usually undermined by a lack of integrity.

Zig Ziglar also said “What you get by achieving your goals is not as important as what you become by achieving your goals.”  This one saying defines what has happened to many entrepreneurs when they are on their way to accomplishing their goals.

Sincerely and passionately work on your goals and it will add to your self image but it can most certainly have the opposite effect if you aren’t truly in the right frame of mind and your self image can suffer.

2) Incongruency  Trying to implement a goal that is incongruent with your self image is almost impossible.  It is like putting grass seed on the sidewalk and expecting it to grow and thrive.

If you really want to accomplish a goal, then it is necessary to re-engineer the self for congruency.

If a sponsor or even a mentor pushes you into doing something that is not in alignment with your self image, for example cold calling strangers, it won’t happen.  You just cannot do things successfully if things are done outside of your self image.

YOU MUST BE TO DO!!   In other words, in goal setting you must have the ability to re-engineer your self image.  This is a very good example of the person you become when and if you set a goal outside of your self image.

The issue of congruency goes beyond just goal setting.  You have to have an honest and realistic self appraisal which might just tell you that you are not suited for a certain undertaking.

You have to create goal and self image congruency and if you don’t, it will be an uphill battle most of the way.

Create to be goalsnot just to do or to get goals.

Write your goals down and you will realize that most of them are to get goals and to do goals but the true concentration needs to be on the to be goals.

What kind of person achieves these kind of goals that I want – how do I match up with this kind of person, with my built in weaknesses and strengths.  Out of this thought process can come the to be list.

3) Imprecision  Imprecise goals can be very dangerous.  Dan Kennedy suggests that Dr. Maltz’s Book: “Psycho-Cybernetics ”  and his other books, as well as his work, is a course in how to effectively communicate with one’s own mind.

Communication misfires have a tendency to be the reason for many injuries on the job as well as many unhappy relationship in the business community as well as in family community.

The trouble with basic communications can somewhat be contributed by the same words used in different contexts can have different meanings.  Even men and women can interpret words and communications in different ways.

Imprecise communications is a world wide problem and as an example – look at the interpretation of some of the passages in the Bible.  These interpretations can be attributed to wars throughout recorded history

Incomplete communications can cause many difficult times as it can between management and employees as well as even between husband and wife.

A good example of good communication might be with a baseball team that has a manager that is not good at communicating exactly what he expects from each team member as well as the team as a whole.  The team might have a number of stars that were not functioning as a team.  When another manager comes in to take over the team that has good communication skills, then this might be all the team needed to be champions.

Communication with your own mind is important as to clarity and great focus.  Blinding clarity as to what you want out of life is important.  This guiding system of communication between you and your mind is extremely important in the success you desire.

You also have to remember that any success is not going to be a straight line but a line filled with many ups and downs.  Whether you believe it or not, the real success is in the journey and not just the destination.

“Believe in Yourself – The Shortest Route to Success!”


If you got anything out of this discussion, please let me know below in the comments.



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Relaxation – Can You? Do You?





Do you use relaxation methods or techniques in your everyday life? Or do you just wing it when you find time?

In today’s society, everything seems to run on double time or triple time.  With all the electronic devices at our disposal and with many homes having both parents working, it creates quite an on the go environment.

I remember going to the Grand Cayman Island in the Caribbean some time ago and having an absolutely enjoyable time but what stands out on this trip as much as the relaxing time was the around the island trip that we had signed up for when we got there.

The trip was supposed to begin at 9 a.m. and most of the group that has signed up were there by the 9 a.m.   We were a group of about 30 people who were anxiously awaiting for the native guide to take us on the planned trip and be there on time.

One of the group was a guy from NYC and he was continually looking at his watch and complaining, wondering why the guide was not there on time.  We all were getting a little figity and wondering where this guide was.

At about 9:30, here comes the guide with his wife, very easily coming up to the group and welcoming everybody.  A few from the group were asking why he wasn’t there on time.  He said in a very comfortable voice that he was there right on time.  It was Caymanian Time, it’s when you get there.  In his calming manner, he said to just relax and enjoy the day and we’ll all have fun.

We did have fun and were relaxed, as we all realized that we had no where to be and no time to be there.  The day was a wonderful time full of enjoying the island sights and all there was to see and most importantly, we all were enjoying the benefits of seeing the island without the stress of “having to get there”.

Many people to not know how to relax and consequently have a tendency to find other means such as pills and alcohol to try to relax.  Dr. Bobby Summer says: “It’s quite probable that the inability to relax may be the only significant obstacle between you and peak performance.”

Dan Kennedy (yes of copywriting fame) organized a company to carry on the works and ideas of Dr. Maxwell Maltz called the Psycho-Cybernetics Foundation.   This Foundation perpetuates the amazing works of Dr. Maltz and all the influence he had on so many people.

Dan Kennedy felt that Dr. Maltz’s ideas and thoughts, as well as his philology, were some of the biggest factors in his successes.

Dr. Maltz’s principles of Psycho-Cybernetics “have inspired and enhanced the lives of more than 30 million people around the world.  He invented a simple, step-by-step program that will help you replace a negative self-image with positive affirmations of empowerment.”

Here are a list of mental training techniques that Dan Kennedy suggests for your ability to understand and utilize in your daily routines in which to relax.

1) Have a Mental Foxhole in which you can retreat to in your mind.  President Truman talked about his ability to retreat into this mood and be able to handle many pressing situations.

2) Having a mentor to model after as well as someone in which to talk over problems and situations. Your mentor can even be one that has died but has had a big influence on you even though you have never met them in person.

3) FOCUS on one task at a time!! (how many times do you hear this from the successful entrepreneurs on the internet?)

4) Give yourself a physical break from your daily routines.  Certainly a help in re-energizing your mental efforts.

5) Give yourself a humor break- laughter is a great medicine.

6) Nip any negative thoughts in the bud.  Have a talk with yourself and attempt to delegate it, divorce yourself from it or re-position yourself into something positive.

7) Exercise – the mother of all stress relieving to many people. Any type of exercise seems to be a long term problem solver if it is repeated enough over time.  Not only is it good for the mind but obviously good for the body.  David-Darian Ross and DeAnna Demmitt have both shown us how important the use of TaijiFit can fit into your daily schedule.  It is a form of exercise that you can do anywhere and how it positively affects both mind and body.

8) Perspective vs. Drama.  Children always seem to have more drama in their early years but some adults have just as much. Drama is considered the short term experience whereas perspective is the long term vision.

Taking breaks or escape time seems to be good ways for successful people to become somewhat resistant from stress.

How about you, are you tackling any of these suggestions to help make your process more stress free or are you using any other techniques?

Do it yourself tranquilizers can be drug free, cost free and mind relaxants that can be the path to an amazing stress free, successful business and lifestyle.

“Believe in Yourself – The Shortest Route to Success!!

If you got anything out of this post, please let me know.  If you have anything to add, make it a point to help all of us, let us know.


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