Liberating your talents and your abilities is a true necessity in gaining your own self confidence and your self image. Positive change is not always easy as we have a tendency to revert into our old comfortable ways.
Many of us have a tendency to be down on ourselves for not changing some of these old habits into better and more productive ways. Usually this is a cop out from the inner self that we need some help.
Even people who have become very successful, might have weakened self images even though they appear otherwise.
Whatever habit or habits you decide to replace with more productive behavior – the use of Psycho-Cybernetics approaches have proven to many to be easy and very successful. This doesn’t mean that it can and will always be easy. It might mean that the mind needs some work on the self image that in turn can use the techniques of Dr. Maltz’s Psycho-Cybernetics.
Dr. Maltz, as a plastic surgeon realized that he could repair the outer scars of his patients but many times their self image interfered with the results.
Many emotional scars can be traced back to one’s childhood or even in the working environment that people were in. These are the areas that Dr. Maltz began to realize were as important or more important than the physical scars.
Dr. Maltz felt that there were five emotional barriers to overcome and each one can be placed in one of these categories or emotional barriers.
Here is a prescription to allow yourself to master the problems associated with these:
1) Hypersensitivity - can lead to an area of “political correctness”, leading to tensions, people begin to shelter away from expressing themselves at all – not wanting to hurt someones’s feelings. A casual comment can land you in court quicker than you realize.
A society that loses its tolerance, it flexibility and even its sense of humor becomes very intolerant. If you are easily offended then you will probably have no problem being offended but your happiness and production in your work will probably suffer.
A strengthened self image becomes a shield against either imagined or real attacks. As you begin to strengthened your self image, things that seemed to bother you in the past, are just brushed off and occur much less because greater self respect will gain much more respect from others.
Ask yourself a simple question, when you might have too much time to think – is this bigger then me or am I bigger than this?
2) Chronic Dependency – is a cause of unhappiness and frustration. People who have a compulsion to be liked or recognized are usually constantly frustrated. Sometime people become martyrs as a way of attention getting.They might just make themselves ill by all the fuss of getting attention. They might involve themselves in destructive behavior just to garner attention.
These kinds of people are more prone to emotional hurts. As children we are always looking for that approval from the teachers, the parents and fellow playmates. We are looking for that gold star but as we mature, that gold star should start coming from within, that we take responsibility for our own success.
3) Resentment – called by some as the politics of envy. Resentment, maybe just one of the most counter-productive activities in existence. Resentment is a no ending application to unhappiness. It cannot create anything totally productive but rather keeps you in a mood of darkness.
When we blame someone for our problems, we rarely take it out physically on someone but it can have a lingering affect of a grudge and more than likely, the person you are angry with doesn’t even know it occurred in the first place.
Forgiveness is like taking a heavy load off your shoulders and realizing how much better you feel. This is one of the main teachings of Jesus- forgiveness!
Carrying a grudge is very heavy lifting. Learning to give up the grudge without any strings attached can be magic – the burden is lifted. No one, absolutely no one is treated fairly throughout their lifetime, but it is how you react to to that can have lasting affects on you.
You get no revenge by having a grudge against someone but the harm will come in the form of resentment and affects you. The act of forgiveness might just be looked at as the ultimate act of selfishness as it only truly affects you – but without it, you empower the other person to continue their assault on you mentally.
How many more precious hours do you want to give up to anger, bitterness and resentment?
4) Guilt – Lucinda Bassett, the author of “From Panic to Power” explains that we are programmed to use guilt as justification for suffering and unhappiness.
For example if you were wronged by someone inadvertently, you could say that the next problem that arose was due you because of that past wrong. Instead of taking it as a challenge, do something positive instead. Guilt or lack of peace of mind will exist until you have made peace with your past.
The self liberation will begin to show through and your self image will most certainly improve. Dr. Maltz suggests seeing yourself with kind eyes as human beings are far from perfect. You are going to make mistakes, but you can rise above your mistakes and use them as a positive, inspired experience for improvement.
Have compassion and understanding of yourself – acknowledge the mistake and move on. Dr. Maltz also suggests 5 practical steps for self forgiveness:
1- acknowledge yours feelings of guilt, face up to them and don’t deny them. Have a straight forward dialogue with yourself.
2- clean the slate and put the situation behind you. Commit to a time period to put them behind you, and make it a specific time.
3- take action to correct the situation. apologize, make amends and correct it if possible.
4- give yourself an ability to put the situation into a good perspective. Treat yourself kindly and as a good person. 5- Strengthen your goals and focus on getting them done. Rid yourself of the past, put away these files and move on.
5) Fear - Fear comes in many different forms, real or unreal. People fear what others think of them. We cannot control what others think of us but rather can only control our own behavior.
Having confidence in our own ability to bounce back from anything is very helpful in the health of the self image. Your self image can allow you to look at the mistakes by acknowledging them, extract whatever useful information you can and adjust it to get you back on course towards your goals. It will not be a straight line but it is going in the right direction.
Believe In Yourself – The Shortest Route To Success!