Is FAILURE part of your makeup and do you recognize early signs of your automatic failure mechanism?
Success and failure are two sides of the same coin and both are recognized in the programing of the self imagine. No one is totally void of failure but it is how you respond to it that can effect your ultimate success.
Here are 7 signs of a weakened self image that Dr. Maxwell Maltz discusses in his book Pyscho-cybernetics. Dr. Maltz is a plastic surgeon who realized that many people needed healing on the inside rather than just the outside. He opened up a whole new area of mindset and how you can find your own self in a maze of uncertainty.
1) Frustration –it isn’t always bad, in fact it can be the stimulator for change and setting of new goals. If frustration lingers for a long time, it can be unhealthy.
Many of the extreme groups that you have read or heard about usually want to take their frustrations out on others rather than the cause from within. When they get frustrated with their own lives, jobs, bosses, or co-workers, they want to take their frustration out on others rather than making a change from within.
2) Aggressiveness – misdirected aggressions usually follow frustrations. A good example are some of the riots that occur in the larger cities that were mainly caused by pent up frustrations of the involved individuals. It can be the father who brings his frustrations home from the office and takes it out on his family in different forms. Road rage might be another good example of miss-placed aggression following frustration.
If you catch yourself feeling aggressive, then just recognize it for what it is – frustration rising out of control.
Throwing your weight around (figuratively) is far less effective than trying to see the situation and working it out with tack and skill.
3) Insecurity – having a low self image has a tendency for the individual to look everywhere else for their problems rather than utilizing the mirror. They want someone else to take care of them, the boss, the government and etc. and have a tendency to blame the same people for their own problems. The only real security lies within ourselves. Your own security many times is based on your knowledge, skill, responsibilities, initiative and your own confidence when you look outside of yourself.
Career, financial or emotional security, and if you give up your own control of these things, then no one can accomplish these things as well as you yourself. One of the important aspects is the relationship between responsibility and control. Control is usually defined by how much responsibility you are willing to accept.
Insecurity can show itself when there is self doubt and a fear of the future. “What if” becomes a big factor in your own feeling of self confidence. If you are plagued by the “what if” syndrome and continue to play in this imaginary cage, then your ability to move forward is limited.
4) Loneliness – You can be surrounded by many other people but you still feel lonely. Loneliness is an emotional and mental isolation that can come out of fear and insecurity.
Many recovering drug addicts and alcoholics will tell you that they had always felt lonely even in places where there were many friends and even a crowd.
5) Isolation – if you find yourself isolating and being by yourself, you need to examine your self image. Life is all about interaction with others and not hiding from them. Look at your reasons for isolating and make a concerted effort to involve yourself with others. Read and take part in exercises that will strengthen your self image and your ability to interact with others. You don’t have to come out of your cocoon all at once, but realize you will soon fly with the other butterflies.
6) Resentments – the most powerful tool our failure mechanisms possess. It is an experience of a negative emotion felt as a result of a real or imaginary wrong done. One of the best interpretations that I have seen is one from Robert C. Solomon, a professor of philosophy at the University of Texas at Austin, he places resentment on the same line-continuum with contempt and anger. According to him, the differences between the three emotions are as follows: resentment is directed towards higher-status individuals, anger is directed towards equal-status individuals and contempt is directed towards lower-status individuals.
People resent the power of people that they do not have, they look at the world feeling that all they have is a bitter pill to swallow.
Lee Neltier, a fellow within the Psycho-cybernetics group, feels there are no victims, only volunteers.
Resentment literally means a re-feeling and re-visiting old mind pictures.
If you do have resentments, you need, (for your own sake) to practice forgiveness. You don’t have to forget the past but just don’t dwell on the past.
Forgiveness liberates your self image as well as improves your physical health. This also applies to you as an individual, forgive your past mistakes and liberate yourself.
When you are focused on others getting the breaks or the things you don’t have, you only add to your own problems with your self image. Dr. Maltz suggests that you rise above these negative emotions to create your own unique success!
Resentments are not caused by other persons or events but by your own emotional response to the circumstances.
7) Emptiness – In other words, is that all there is? Being bored and unfulfilled and trying to replace this emotional void with a physical solution is not going to work. You need to go back and figure out both mentally and emotionally what is missing. If you feel an emptiness, you can perform your own emotional surgery. You just have to recognize it and then do something about it.
If you were a high powered executive and thought by retiring and playing golf and fishing with nothing else going on, you might have a very hard time adjusting to retirement. You might have to examine what your likes, dislikes and abilities are and work with them. Volunteer with groups to help them put ideas together that help them succeed. This makes more sense than retiring with absolutely no idea of what the future is going to hold except fishing and golf.
Believe in Yourself – The Shortest Route to Succeed!
If you have anything to add to these ideas, please let me know and let the others know. This is a big subject that sometimes little attention is paid to it. It is well worth the read: Psycho-cybernetics, as it contains an amazing group of ideas and thoughts that we all can profit from in so many ways.